School

I so want to be done with these last few projects. And truthfully I would have been done with them months ago, but I'm a wife and a mom and a full time employee and a full time student this semester.

WHY!?

It's hard.  It's really really hard. I find myself doubting myself on a daily basis. I've cried more than I have ever cried because of school this semester (may have to do some with hormone imbalance due to pregnancy, but still). I have been more frustrated and exhausted that I have ever been in my whole life.

Now I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but yet I can see how much I still want to do. And let's be serious here, if I was a single, no baby individual, I could probably finish this all up with an overnighter, but I'm not. I have a husband and two little ones and this is going to take me a week to finish (if not more), but all I have is a week. I'm freaking out!!!

Let me admit...I'm a perfectionist. I want to get a good grade on these last two projects. They are the biggest projects I have had for my grad school experience. And when I look at what I AM going to get done...I'm scared of what grade I feel I deserve on them. I probably won't get that bad of a grade, but still...I feel like I could do so much better.

My dad once told me, no one is going to remember the GPA or the letter grades when you are done. You just have to be able to put forth what you learn. That is all that matters!  So...why am I stuck on getting that certain grade?  Why can't I just put down what I learned and be okay with that? Why do I have to have the best. It's almost a competitive feature, but I wouldn't consider myself that competitive, maybe I am, but I don't feel that way.

UGH...okay, got to get to it.  We'll see how much sleep I get tonight.  It's not looking good :(