Exhaustion

I hate when I am this exhausted and everything hits that last nerve. I hate that something someone says gets right under my skin and festers. I hate how it effects how I feel and act and think of myself. I wish that I was that person that could just let it roll off my shoulder, but I can't. I sit and dissect it from every angle and it eats at me. I hate that I care so much about what others say, even if it's not directly about me or toward me. Why do I have to think about it so much?  Why? Why? Why?  Sometimes I wish I lived as a recluse with Steve, Kayleigh and Jacob in a very remote area where I didn't have to deal with all this crap. However, I would miss my mom, dad, sister, brother, brother-in-law, nephews, Grandma, and more. I just wish I could ignore things instead of listen to ALL of it! 

I think I'm just exhausted!

MAMA!!!!!!!!

Since I have been on maternity leave, Kayleigh goes to daycare with Steve and comes home with Steve. We have made it a routine to have her kiss me and Jacob bye and specifically say "See you after school!  Have a great day!" She is reluctant in the mornings, but when she comes home at night...she runs in the house, yelling...literally yelling...."MAMA!!!!!!!!!"  I absolutely love it.  She's a daddy's girl, so I'll take as much as I can get :)  I love my Kayleigh!!!!

Funnies

Kayleigh:
In the car, if you don't respond right away..."DAD...WAKE UP!!!!!!!"  (mind you, Steve's not sleep driving!)
Teddy Grahams aka Baby Bears.  And the Baby Bears use the top of the container as a trampoline.
Currently loves cottage cheese, hard boiled eggs and chocolate milk :)

Jacob:
Loves hearing "Amazing Grace" being sung to him.
Has found his tongue.
Has found his right arm/fist (more so than his left).
Thinks the mobile is funny :)

Curiosity...

killed the cat...or keeps me interested :)

Just wondering who all reads my blog?  I use it just to remember stories and what not about the kiddos and their activities. I know my mom and sister read it pretty regularly, but who else? 

Allergies/Sensitivities/Intolerances

Allergies/Sensitivities/Intolerances...being in the medical field I think I know a little about this stuff, but not ALL about them. I am lucky to say that I am not allergic to much...only gold!  (or as one of my professors told me at Simpson...You are just allergic to one of the alloys that is put with gold when making jewelry...not gold itself).  Whatever...I just know that I break out in hives, just like my mama, when I wear gold...cheap or the nice stuff, doesn't matter. So I stick to Sterling Silver, Platinum or Palladium.  Those seem to work (and can be more expensive in the end).

Well...reason I am thinking about this today is that Jacob has started up this rash on the right side of his face (mainly).  So I'm trying to figure it out, so that he doesn't have to deal with all the allergy crap some kids have to. I think it may be my body wash that I am using from Bath and Body Works. So today, the start of my experiment, I bought some sensitive skin body wash. Then when I hold Jacob in the nook of my left arm, it won't be the previous body wash, but instead this sensitive skin stuff.  Maybe that will help his new, soft baby skin from being irritated. We'll see!

I know there are several people who are so very very very cautious about everything with their kids. I'm not saying they are right or wrong, but still.  I am not one to soap down every single thing from binkie to toy to try and avoid illness or be very careful what they eat as to not pass it thru the breast milk (okay...I'm trying to cut down on the caffeine and I don't drink heavily, but I do eat garlic, drink milk, as well as other things that I hear people avoid).  I think sometimes we need to build up their immunities.  I'm pretty sure all these things weren't around to do when I was growing up, and like I said before, I'm pretty normal (hey...shush in the front row) with the allergies/sensitivities/intolerance section of my life as is Steve. So hopefully our kids will take after us.

PS...went to Olive Garden today and had salad and bread sticks...and my pumped breast milk smelled like garlic...hahahaha. sorry, maybe that's TMI, but still funny!

Today...

So I got some stuff done, but still not as much as I'd like.

Steve, Jacob and I took Kayleigh to daycare at 7 this morning. Then we went to Mercy West from 7:30-8:30 to get some stuff for my Internship that I had yet to get. Then we went over to Pleasant Hill to pick up Steve's contacts from the Optometrist. Went to Fareway after to get some food. Made it home around 11. Started working on some homework. Steve made me some lunch and Jacob was in and out of sleep. (I think Steve now realizes why I cannot get anything done with Jacob at home with me). Then went to the Chiropractor at 1:30, got home after running a couple of errands at Walmart and Hallmark. At 3 I was able to get a little more homework done, then went to pick up Kayleigh at 4:30. Got home, started dinner, and now getting settled in to more homework now at 10 pm. Laundry done amongst the time we were home. See...when do I get a chance to get anything done?!?!  UGH!!!!  Migraine settled in around 10:30...2 Excedrin Migraine and 3 Ibuprofen later...I think I may have finally got rid of it. Now my eyes are tired and I'm trying so hard to stay focused, but I just want to sleep!  Where are the extra 5 hours in my day!?!

I hate how it seems like every day flies past. I know I shouldn't take advantage of any minute. I love my kiddos and my family. I just wish there was a Cleaning Fairy, a Homework Fairy, a Kitchen (Breakfast/Lunch/Dinner) Fairy, etc. I'm hoping once I get done with these classes, I will hopefully still have 4-10 hour shifts at work and am able to get control of my house (cleaning/organizing) while Steve's at work and the kiddos are at daycare and maybe that will reduce my stress around the house. Then maybe we can just relax and enjoy ourselves during the week more.

K...think I'm done whining. Let's see if I can get a little done before I crash...2-3 am will come fast (generally that's when Jacob is back up for more nummers).

Ah...

Tomorrow Steve has the day off!!!  Kayleigh will be going to daycare (gotta keep that kid in a schedule if we can!) and I'm working on....HOMEWORK!  Hopefully I will get it done!  I'm to the point where I need to shove my procrastination as well as my perfectionism to the side and just be done with it.  I really want a good grade, but then again, I just want to be done!  I want to quit feeling guilty for not doing my homework as well as the other side of the card...not doing stuff with my family. 

I'm actually looking forward to cleaning my house :)  It's gotten so out of hand. I use to be a very clean and organized person when it came to my house...almost OCDish. Now...I'm good with if things that need to get to the trash get to the trash!  :)  (okay...really it isn't that bad, but it's not my OCD type house either)

Oh...pray that I feel well tomorrow, that I don't get a migraine, and that Jacob does not drive his daddy mad!